Lucky

Well...I don't know where to start it all, actually. Okay...here it is.

You know, having a serious relationship with someone is something great, especially if you are "nobody" in your surrounding. Let me underline the term "nobody" here. It means that you are a very so-so person. No beauty and no fancy things. The only one you are proud of is your brain. That's all.

So...one day you met a boy from a chat room and then...not long after that, you started a relationship with the guy. The reasons that you were interested in him were because he was polite, and handsome. And you'd never had a boyfriend like him before!! Can you imagine how happy you would be??!!

Then lately you realized that you actually didn't have anything that made you feel connected to him, except that he was really kind and nice to you. He was always by your side when you needed him, took you wherever you wanted to go, anytime you wanted. In short, he was almost 24 hours with you every day.

However, time must go on. There was time when you had to be apart from him. You went back to your hometown, and so did he. And then you started what is called as a long-distance relationship. Okay...the first year could be passed quite easily, but then you found out that it was really getting harder to do. You started to regret your relationship. You have no worries on his loyalty, though. You DO know that he must not cheat on you. The problem is...he never gives you any sign to go further for your future. Every time you ask him to meet you, he refuses, telling you that it's not the time yet. So when is the right time?? Should you wait for him till the doom day??!! Oh man......you just want to meet him, you miss him so much. Doesn't he feel the same way?? So why he does that??

You actually know the reasons why he always refuses to talk about marriage or stuffs like that. You do understand that he doesn't feel confident with himself for being jobless. But it's not about getting married. You just want to meet him. Is it wrong??

Then the problem has come. You work at the place where you have some friends that can make you feel like..."Hey...I've never meet friends like them before". They are really nice, interesting, and a little bit crazy! I mean it. And then...you will never know that one of your best friends feels something to you. He falls for you. And you get confused because you know that deep in your heart you feel it too. And you get more confused..because you have to choose...the previous one, or the "best friend" guy. You really can't choose. You have a more-than-3-year relationship that you've held on to. But on the other side, your new "lover" is much more promising. He can make your days like rainbows. You feel good, comfortable, and happy to be with him. You've found out that you have many things that match him very well. And you have same favorite songs!! You are what you are when you are with him. And you have nothing to be shy for. You can talk about everything with him. Briefly, you see yourself on him.

Lately, you know that you start to fall for him, deeper and deeper , time after time, day by day. So you start a new relationship with him, without knowing what to do with your real boyfriend. And what you can do is just waiting for the time to show which one is better. And hoping that the time will show you the way to go. Hopefully, it will come soon. The sooner the better, since you start to realize that you think you are going to choose the new one. Hey God... Don't You love me?? :)